Reluctant

These few days I always have strange dreams, somekind of nightmare, since in the dream I was pressurized. One of the nights, I was dreaming on being chase to be killed. It was always I knew that I was going to be killed at the first place, so I tried so hard to change the fate that I was going to died. This was the obvious one that I always dreamt of. The other night, I dreamt of given scholarship to do master from my current company. And I was totally stressed since I am going to quit, meaning I am doing half way for the Master degree and I felt disadvantage by quit early before the scholarship finished (in term of money benefit). Then I was very confused and stressed how to decide.

Haha I always stressed, even in my own dream! Can you imagine that? Daily life, eye open - stress, eye close also stress!

Today, one of my PAE passed through my cubical and saw Mr J (today is supposedly Mr J’s off day, and again he came in, such a dedicated man). And they talked about OT pay (Mr J never claimed OT, although he always came back on Monday, so it is just like he works for 6 days a week –> tsk tsk…extra point again for so dedicated). Suddenly the PAE guy said something to me, ” Not like Jesica, not pick up the phone all the time.”

What? I only did not pick up on last Saturday, I got 3 misscall only. Mr J also added, “Ya… I called her also, but nobody picked up”. Sigh…..I just say “Really?”, and the guy said “Oh…at least you called back, some people just did not call back.” Yeah…..

I did not want to argue back, since I was in the church for the whole Saturday for a mission conference. And I have the right not to look at my hp, since I am in the sermon.

On Sunday, the guy called me and said I never returned back the call, the lot already on hold for almost 10 hrs, sigh….I called back on Saturday night and nobody told me about this, and now he blamed me?

I don’t like to fight back, anyway I am going out soon. I don’t want to give reasons that I am inside the church, they will laugh at me and think that I am sooo… ‘religious’. So to avoid that kind of impression, I just let it go, no defence back.

Back actually after you think about it, it’s better to fight back, it doesn’t matter right if they think you are too… holy since you are out anyway.

Sigh….anyway it has already passed. No need to think further about it.